math does not suck

a short rant on how we are taught math

I spent 12 hours today practicing math.
Twelve. Goddamn. Hours.

And here I am, the night before my final, feeling like I still know absolutely nothing.

Why are we learning about regression line? What is the use of elementary transformation? And while all these questions can be answered somehow, there is NO time for it.

The way we’re taught, it’s just: solve a sum, move on, solve another, another, another... God forbid someone asks a decent "why" question. There's no room for it. No breathing space to actually understand anything.

And that’s the real problem.

Tomorrow’s my final exam, and all the frustration building up inside me finally makes sense, it’s not because I’m lazy or stupid, it’s because the way we learn math is completely broken.

Instead of learning math like a story that builds and makes sense, we’re forced to memorize steps like robots, trying desperately to keep up. Regression lines, for example, are supposed to help us predict things, like if you have data on people’s heights and weights, a regression line lets you predict a weight based on a height.

And elementary transformations? Just a fancy way of legally moving things around in equations without changing the truth of the math so it's easier to solve. These concepts could make sense if we had time to breathe and digest them, but we don’t. And so, after twelve hours of grinding, I’m left feeling like it’s not me who’s the failure, it’s the system that failed me.

Right now, there’s no time left to deeply understand everything; the goal is just survival. It’s about recognizing patterns, memorizing basic steps, and getting through the exam as best I can, even if it’s messy and rushed. Perfection isn’t the goal anymore, finishing is. Math doesn’t suck because it’s hard; it sucks because no one ever gave us the time or space to actually think and make sense of it.

Maybe someday, when there’s no pressure hanging over my head, I’ll come back to it on my own terms, not to pass a test, but just to actually learn, because learning is supposed to be about growing, not breaking. For now, I’ll do what I can, finish what I started, and remind myself that one exam doesn’t define everything I’m capable of.

And to give a little sympathy, maybe math itself is stuck in unfortunate circumstances too, just like I am.

I can not learn 15 pages worth of formulas that look like it's written in an ancient language.